I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in awhile. There’s been so much going on at this end of the world. I’m in the midst of packing for my annual (technically) trip home. I recently completed another round of Norwegian lessons. I’m also in the midst of switching jobs. Yes, I have not mentioned that yet. It’s tricky to discuss work on my blog because I work in the Technology field and the last thing I want is my colleagues/employer reading my blog. This is also why there are so few photographs of me on this blog. A little bit of anonymity never hurt anybody, right? :)
Switching jobs is tough. I guess I’m just an emotional person who’s not very good at detaching from stuff so I start to question myself on what I could have done differently. What is “worse” is that I always build some really nice camaraderie with my colleagues and each time I leave a job (not that I have left many jobs..but just saying) I really miss them. [This is where I need to be lectured on the importance of not pouring myself so completely into some of my friendships.]
There’s something special about the jokes and laughs you have with the regular people you work with…and once that moment is gone and you no longer work there, you won’t be the same person anymore; neither will they. And all that is left is that: a moment that once was. I know this from experience: it’s really difficult to be friends with ex-colleagues because you lose that one big thing you had in common: the job. Also, the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” really is true.
It doesn’t help to know that you tried so hard to make things work. Of course, a job is just like a relationship – both people have to work towards it. But what really sucks is when you are reminded of how hard you tried by the stacks of paper on which you planned, drafted, scribbled notes on. That’s the problem with being a perfectionist and always needing a reason for everything. Yet sometimes a reason isn’t enough.
So I guess you could say I’ve been a bit up and down as I’m mourning the passing of my current job and comfort zone. Trust me to always be dramatic and soppy :) I’m doing what’s very common in Norway – going on vacation between jobs. It will be fun – it’s always nice to be home and be fussed over by your family. I will also be celebrating my birthday with my family – after 6 years of being the nomadic daughter. But it will be my 27th birthday. I don’t like celebrating birthdays because they remind me of all the things I have not accomplished and time is running out. I’m also bad at accepting gifts because I feel bad that people spent hard-earned money on me. I love buying gifts for others though :) Talk about double standards.
I guess I should stop being so negative and hard on myself. I’ve been trying to do just that – but as you can see – I’m failing miserably.