Sound of Silence

A couple of months ago the bf and I planned our vacation. I think it was around March or something and we planned to go to Munich and Amsterdam with my younger sister as she’s visiting Europe now. Then we realized that it’s going to be a bit too much travel to try to cover two cities and then still have days off for our annual trip to Kuala Lumpur.

So we booked the tickets for Munich only and added some day trips to maximize our stay there.

Then I got sick that week of April 20th and a lot of things I thought I was going to do, just got kicked aside. I found myself sitting at home being asked to rest, and all along I had serious work deadlines that I could not attend to. It was a very strange experience where your mind is trying to protect your body and help it to heal so you are a bit too calm, but at the same time you know you’re supposed to be getting work done otherwise you risk looking like a fool and people are going to be so mad at you for not delivering what you promised.

Actually, I can deal with people being mad at me but I cannot deal with people being disappointed at me. But, I digress.

So after a week of sick leave, I went back to work and tried to pick up where I left off. It was really weird to sit in meetings knowing that part of your features are crooked. You just don’t have that confidence that you normally do. I forced myself to get to work anyway, with glasses, barely any makeup and a crooked face. Thankfully, not many people noticed that I actually looked funny. I guess you never know what you can get away with πŸ™‚

I also started working out again as I was told I could live my life like I usually did. It was very strange to not be able to drink water out of a squeeze bottle. Luckily, that kind of healed about 3-4 days later. At least the strength in my mouth returned and I could eat a sandwich without my left incisor cutting into my mouth.

It took about a week for my left eye to feel better but I refused to wear contact lenses until another week passed by. Why bother with contact lenses if you can wear glasses, you ask? Simple: light. After 5 years of living in Norway, my eyes have become very light sensitive. I think it’s partly because of how dark it can get in Winter. The sun in Spring/Summer can be very strong here and my eyes hate it. So I have to wear sunglasses most of the time or I feel like I’m going blind. I’ve had strange bouts of light sensitivity when I’m travelling too. I was at the airport on the way to New York and realized that I could barely open my eyes. Man, airport lighting is terrible, but that’s for another day.

I was starting to feel better – wait, I am feeling better still – so I got back into the swing of work and realized that there’s so little time left to get work done before I head off to vacation. I had also promised myself that when I got better, I would book tickets to go home as I had told my Mom not to visit. She offered to come visit for two weeks but my Mother is not really young and travelling from KL to Oslo is not easy. So those tickets were also purchased and I was feeling even more pressured to get work done.

The only solution was to work in the evenings and weekends. Now you know why I’ve barely been blogging.

I know, it’s not a smart thing to overwork myself but I just cannot bare that feeling when you know you could have gotten stuff done if you had gritted your teeth and just pushed through.

So, here I am. Still working. On a Saturday. I’m quite close to finishing my work though. That should amount for something right? πŸ™‚

On the upside, I leave for vacation tomorrow morning and when I get all my work done, I can not look at my work laptop for 8.5 days. Priceless!

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10 responses

  1. Darling, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I can’t imagine how unwell you must’ve felt in those meetings – I know what importance you place on looking polished and neat.

    I’m so happy you guys get to leave tomorrow morning! I hope you’ll have an amazing trip, full of relaxation and fun πŸ™‚ hugs and kisses!

    • Actually, it really helped to chat with you via Twitter DMs and SMSes … I’m very grateful for your friendship Miss P πŸ™‚ It was kind of horrible but I’m much better now and most people no longer notice the slight unevenness in my grin.

      The trip was not exactly relaxing but it was a lot of fun. I’ll blog about it soon with pictures.

  2. Hey,
    I accidently came across your blog. It’s been so long since we talked. Good to know you’re doing well.

    • Hi Tahera, sorry I’ve been M.I.A. I saw a few of your messages on GTalk but only much later when you were offline. I sometimes leave my browser connected to GMail and forget to log off when I’ve stepped away from my laptop.

      I hear you have moved. Hope all is well at your end. Take care.

  3. You should take your own advice on not working too hard, hehe. But seriously hope you’re feeling MUCH better now and try not to stress not too much. Hope you’re having a good holiday (or are you back already)? Look forward to reading all about it.

    • Hello! πŸ™‚ You’ve been blogging up a storm and I’m sorry for not keeping up with you. I came back on Monday afternoon and worked the remaining half of the day as technically I was working on Monday. I had chucked aside some other work to meet my other deadlines so I had to quickly finish that last bit to have a bit more peace.

      Now I’m feeling much better. Only *I* notice the unevenness in my grin so I’m no longer so self-conscious. The trip was awesome and I will definitely blog about it soon πŸ™‚

  4. Have fun on your vacation.
    Don’t worry there will be a point in all of our lives when sickness will leave us looking different from our usual selves. Your turn is almost over πŸ™‚
    When you recover completely, don’t forget to admire yourself in the mirror for at least 5 minutes daily πŸ˜‰ xo

    • Aww, thank you for the supportive comment, Shivani. I can see the slight unevenness in my facial features and I would be lying if I said it didn’t bug me. But even people who have gotten more severe levels of Bell’s Palsy have healed completely so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

      Thank you again and have a nice day.

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