They say life happens when you are busy planning. Honestly I haven’t been planning, but I’ve just been, managing. Just going through the day-to-day routines and trying to keep my head afloat. There’s so much to do but so little time. But, it’s always good to be busy as it probably means that I’m of use to the universe 🙂
Diwali, the festival of lights, was on last Tuesday. I was actually a bit homesick because it was the third Diwali that I was away from my family. When I was a kid, Diwali was such a big deal. We celebrated it so grandly. One of the best things about Diwali was that everybody wore new clothes and since we were kids, we had new shoes, pyjamas, even new underwear 😉 As I grow older, and since I live away from my family, it’s a bit of a strange day. I know everybody I am related to will be having fun: eating, partying, talking, watching the latest Tamil movie that released that day, etc. I usually end up working on that day and it’s a bit surreal. I could take the day off, but working on that day is a way of dealing with homesickness: keeping busy.
In 2010, the bf took me to San Francisco for Diwali because he was going to be away and he didn’t want me to be alone. This year I was actually alone because he was in Berlin for work and I didn’t feel like taking days off to wander around Berlin alone while he was working. My workload is kind of insane lately, too, so it doesn’t feel right to take days off right now. To avoid being miserable, I had a nice FaceTime call with my family, then I went to work.
After work I had some good sushi for takeout and finally plonked msyelf in the cinema for the almost-3-hour-long Hindi movie Jab Tak Hai Jaan. I’m a huge fan of Indian movies: the movies and the music. A huge portion of my playlist consists of Tamil and Hindi movie soundtrack and this music keeps me sane. The more music I listen to at work, the less angry I become. I’ll also watch any movie with Shah Rukh Khan in it because I think he’s a really good actor. He also talks very, very well. There was a radio interview he did for BBC to celebrate his 20 years in the movie industry and he was so entertaining to listen to. There are some highlights you can view here.
Anyway, Jab Tak Hai Jaan is quite a good movie, not just because it’s partially shot in London (There’s a scene right outside Covent Garden, on that street where I walk by to go to Neal’s Yard!) but because it’s one of those movies that you can just get lost in and not think about logic and reality, you know? That’s the best part about watching a movie. You get to escape a bit. It’s also why I love to read. I think I just need to know that there are other people out there with different lives and that my challenges are just…a drop of water in the ocean. I have this habit at work where I step out of my office and take a walk in the city from time to time. It really helps me to clear my head. Of course it helps to work smack dab in the middle of three different shopping malls. *Evil laugh*
So, apart from Diwali and watching the movie, not much is up here. I have plans to go to Germany for Christmas to visit the bf’s family. We’re not sure what to do for New Year’s Eve though. I’ll be very honest: I’d love to go to London. It would be amazing. But, I also don’t want to push my travel luck anymore because there have been some amazing trips this year so far and sometimes, it would be wise to not ask the universe for too much. So, I shall wait and see.
Oh, my Mom sent me some of her homemade fruitcake in the mail. It’s very cute. She registered the parcel as well so I have to stop by the post office later to pick up fruitcake. I’m really looking forward to eating it though. It’ll definitely help with the homesickness.
I won’t say I regret living away from home, but I will say that I didn’t realize how difficult it would be. I have lived away from home for almost 8 years now. It started with studying abroad and then it went on to working abroad. When you make a decision to move in your early 20s, you only think of that point. Like most young people, back then, I couldn’t even imagine being where I am now. In hindsight maybe I should have made that effort to visualize it. But I guess nothing prepares you for a lot of things – like knowing that your parents are getting older, your nieces and nephews are growing – just realizing how much you miss out on by not being there. I won’t lie. It sucks. But that said, life goes on and absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, if you’re considering moving away from home, just be careful to consider the other aspects as well. Time can take moments from you.