Chuggin’ Along

So.. the fiancee and I have now started planning our wedding.

We have a few things narrowed down but it’s kind of tricky because we are planning a wedding 6000 miles away from where we live. There’s just so many things to take care of.

I can’t decide what kind of a wedding saree I want to wear. There is a designer I really, really like. But I never wear sarees because Oslo is just not very saree-friendly due to the weather. So, I’m not sure if I want to splurge on this designer saree. That said, it is a wedding and if you don’t splurge on your wedding, then when else, right?

So, we are traveling next month to hunt for my ‘dream’ saree.

I’m actually kind of nervous about it because I’ve never bought my own saree before. Usually my Mom is there to help me choose and give useful feedback on the quality, texture, design, etc. This whole getting married thing has made me realize that I will have do a lot of life changing things on my own. I mean, I do live alone, far, far away from home, but I still consult my parents on many things. Jobs (I never sign a contract without running it by my Dad), savings, plans, buying gadgets – I usually ask one of my parents about these things. They always give pretty sound advice too.

It’s just sometimes, you really want to make your own decisions – and then life gives you that chance – but then you realize how difficult it is to make life changing decisions.

I’m giving up my apartment. I’ve lived there for about 5 years and it’s a bit difficult to give it up. So many happy and sad things have taken place in that apartment. I remember first moving in and thinking: “This place is huge! There is no way I will ever be able to fill up these bookshelves!” Well, guess what? The bookshelves are overflowing. I guess we grow into our surroundings – either that or I’m just a hoarder trying to adapt to Scandinavian minimalistic furnishings 🙂

The fiancee and  I are going to do our civil marriage here in Norway, then move in and save up for our actual wedding. It’s a bit unconventional and not exactly what I had imagined. But living in two separate apartments in the 4th most expensive city in the world is not the secret to financial freedom. Apartments require so much time and maintenance. We are both working full time and planning a wedding. Though, I have to say, my family has been so helpful and understanding – especially my Mom. I actually call her a few times a week, at  6 something in the morning (my time). In the beginning I dreaded the wedding planning, but if it means I get to have some nice conversations with my Mom, then it definitely has it’s upsides.

I’m not a wedding person – you know? I’m not soppy or romantic. I’m sitting here trying to string together some words to draft our wedding invitation cards and I’m stumped! You’d think a technical writer will be able to draft a wedding invitation. Well, maybe not. I also don’t know if we want a wedding website (feels a bit cheesy) but it would be nice to use an online RSVP tool, which some of the wedding website hosting companies provide.

Oh well, I’m chuggin’ along. Trying to figure things out. 2013 has been one eventful year so far.

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9 responses

  1. Well you’ve got my sympathies.

    I do remember well how much time we had to spend planning our wedding. Of course in our case we were and are living in the town where everything took place so that certainly made things much easier. We bought the wedding dress and my suit while we were visiting relatives in Turkey which makes a hell of a difference. I suppose we would have had to pay double or tripple the price in Germany to get something of similar quality.

    I also totally understand how you still ask your parents for advice on different matters. It’s the same for me. Especially when it comes to issues like big investments (buying an apartment) I’m glad that I can rely on my parents input. The scary thought is that naturally at some point this will stop and we will have to make absolutely all these decisions based on our own experience, knowledge and gut feeling. And not only that but I’ll even have to give advice on such matters to my son. Gee .. But I am getting ahead of myself.. For the moment I should focus on how we can get junior to go to bed each evening without a big, bloody drama each time and you need to focus on getting things sorted out for the wedding!

    Tobi

    • Aww you commented on my blog! I’m flattered 🙂

      Man, wedding planning is tough. I had no idea we have to consider so many things. It’s also like on the back of my mind all the time. Especially when I see something I’d like to get then I have to do some mental math to make sure I’m not overspending or splurging. Too stressful!

      Yeah, at some point we’re going to be on our own. That’s a bit scary.

      Hahaha, your son is too cute. I’m sure you’ll give him the right advice. If all else fails, use an 8 Ball 🙂

    • Most expensive? I would agree, but I’m not sure about people who live in other cities like Moscow and Russia. You know, even New York is not really cheap. I guess there is no such thing as the perfect city.

      I will probably splurge I think.. knowing me. I have very little control when it comes to “one-in-a-lifetime” purchases 🙂

  2. You can do it! finding a vision is hard, maybe check out the boards in pinterest or check out profession wedding pictures/videos to get an idea of what kind of stuff u like and what u don’t? (i love http://blog.digitology.net/ )

    Finding ‘THE’ saree is never easy but im sure u’ll look gorgeous nonetheless!

    i guess when 1 item is finalized, like the main theme for each event or the colours you want, then everything just gets done super fast

    Good luck hun and enjoy the process! xx

    • Aww thank you! I have been looking on Pinterest but this designer does not have much of an online presence. I am in contact with a particular store in London and hope to go there to see more of the collection 🙂 *Fingers crossed*

      We have a rough idea on the colour theme but we don’t want to wear *that theme* per se. More of wear complementary colours instead.

  3. Your wedding saree is DEFINITELY worth splurging on, Fieran. You will regret it if you don’t get the “dream dress.” I do make-up for a lot of Indian brides here and they spend a FORTUNE on their weddings because it only happens once in a lifetime (well, in theory) and it’s such a big celebration. Seriously, a bride will spend upward of $500 CAD on a make-up artist alone.

    I know all the wedding stuff is overwhelming especially since you have a full-time job and your wedding is taking place far from where you live, but think of the endgame. Keep in mind that it’s supposed to be a fun, beautiful celebration, not a chore. I know a lot of brides end up stressing so much about the wedding that they can’t even enjoy it. But remember that it’s for you.

    I always thought the most expensive city in the world to live in was Moscow, Russia, but I guess times have changed! Like, Vancouver is more expensive to live in than New York City?!?! That’s INSANE.

  4. Ok first things first, indian weddings are hard to plan that’s why i let my parents plan everything out except for my MUA! As for your saree, it’s best you have a budget and stick to it coz when you’re out in the shop, they’ll take out every saree under the sun which makes the process hard. You’ll just know if the saree is meant to be yours when you see it 🙂 It’s a long process but its one you should enjoy and as for drafting your wedding card – you’re a good writer no doubt i’m sure the words will flow in eventually. Happy moving out…can’t imagine how hard it is to move from a place you’ve called home for 5 years but that’s just the first step into your new phase of life 😉

    • Oh no! Just realized this was posted 2 weeks ago. Sorry, been really busy 😦

      You’re right – Indian weddings are really challenging. Yeah, the saree budget is tricky. The only consolation is to find a piece that I can wear again in the future.

      Oh, I have started packing up my ‘crap’. I have accumulated so much in 5 years in that one place. When I moved to Oslo I had 1 main luggage, 1 hand luggage and 1 backpack. That’s it. I shipped two small boxes – with a water jug and rice cooker and some cutlery, 1 plate, 1 cup, 1 bowl..hahaha. Life was so simple back then. I have to throw out/recycle a large pile of magazines because the fiancee’s place won’t have enough space for that. Apartments are actually small in Oslo due to the price. Oh well, time to think out some good ‘storage’ strategies 🙂

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